Thursday, April 28, 2005

Heavy Thinking

Everyone has angst. So I smile a lot and I seem to be cheerful 90% (okay maybe 80%) of the time. This doesn't mean I don't have days of constant self-doubt, anger, humiliation, etc... I wonder quite often what my purpose is in this life. I often wonder how my life will turn out. I have my inner demons. I worry whether I'll ever gain the willpower to beat the addiction of overeating. I struggle with the anger I still feel at my parents for the abuse I suffered as a child. I wonder if I should be doing something more worthwhile with my life. Do I offer anything to society or am I a shallow person taking up precious space on this earth. I hate that I question my faith.
I have a bad habit of how I deal with these issues though. I shove them out of my mind. I never linger on them very long. You could say I do a Scarlett ("I'll think about that tomorrow").

Listening to: "The Show Must Go On" ~ Queen

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